Kisses Are The Best Cure For
by Issi
Summary: A series of drabbles, along the theme 'Kisses are the Best Cure For...'...leave me ideas for more things kisses could cure - let your imagination run wild!
1. Hiccups

'Ianto, coffee?' came Jack's pleading yell from up in the main hub. Ianto took a deep breath.

'One sec – _hic_!'

Jack appeared in the kitchen area, looking amused. 'You _still_ have hiccups?'

Ianto scowled at him, the effect rather spoilt by another hiccup escaping his tightly clenched lips. God, these were the kind of hiccups that _hurt._ It was like imploding and exploding _at the same time_.

'I'll get your coffee, sir.' Ianto managed to grind out without a single hiccup. Jack grinned at him, an evil twinkle in his eye, walking away.

He made the coffee, jumping a couple of inches of the ground every few seconds, every time a suppressed hiccup tore through his body. Carrying them up into the hub was tricky, but he managed to balance his tray with all the ease of a professional butler.

Once he made it up into the hub, he was confronted by Jack and the other three members of the team watching with barely suppressed grins on their faces. Ianto scowled, navigating the hub and setting down the coffees on the computer desks and tables. Job done, he turned to flee back to the kitchen, but was stopped in his escape by the biggest hiccup yet.

'_Hic_!'

The Hub burst into guffaws behind him, and he whipped round, to find Owen rolling on the sofa clutching his stomach as he laughed. Tosh was still staring resolutely at her computers, bless her, but god dammit, there was a smile even on her face. Gwen was trying not to laugh, but now she was, possibly more at Owen's fit than at Ianto.

Ianto slumped in defeat, and Toshiko patted his arm sympathetically, her lips twitching as she tried not to laugh at him.

'Have you tried a glass of water?' Gwen asked between bouts of laughter. Owen had slid completely off the sofa, and was sprawled on the floor, in hysterics.

This off course set everyone else off with his or her own hiccup cures, everything from a shock, to eating the spiciest food you could find, to holding your breath until you were ready to pass out.

Jack was worryingly quiet throughout the whole thing, his head tilted to one side, and his eyes twinkling, a speculative smile curving his lips.

'I'll just wait and let them pass, I think.' Ianto said firmly after a particularly alarming suggestion from a still hysterical Owen.

Ianto turned to escape to the tourist office, only for a heavy hand to land firmly on his shoulder.

Jack span Ianto round, pinning him against the wall and pressing their lips together. The kiss lasted at least a minute, and Ianto was fairly sure Jack's hands were wandering a little too far for public decency, but hell, he was in no fit state to complain.

Jack pulled away, his hands on Ianto's waist, grinned at him, and said to the Hub at large.

'Kisses are the best cure for hiccups.'

He winked, and strode away, leaving Owen howling on the floor, red in the face, Gwen and Tosh with almost identical expressions of amazement, and poor, poor, Ianto Jones still standing against the wall, frozen in shock, his tea tray clutched in front of him like the worlds most ineffective shield.

He didn't hiccup again though. Kisses really were the best cure for hiccups.

05/12/2008 /tmp/uploads/FF_


	2. Burns

Jack slammed the phone down in irritation, swearing under his breath.

'Careful.' Ianto reprimanded him mildly, wincing at the cracking noise it made.

'I really, really dislike that man.' Jack growled, thumping stacks of paper round his desk as he searched for something. 'Have you seen that requisition form Owen gave me to sign?'

Ianto pursed his lips, studying the bombsite that was Jack's desk. 'Half an hour ago I saw it. Now…'

He spread his hands in a gesture that spoke volumes. Jack scowled.

'Who was it on the phone, anyway?' Ianto asked absently, shifting another stack of (long-overdue, he noted) forms out the way, revealing a small slip of blue paper. Jack snatched it up triumphantly, scrawling his signature across the line without stopping to read it. Ianto rolled his eyes.

'On the phone? President of the USA.'

He flipped through several sheets of paper, folding the corner and stapling them together. It took him several moments before he realized Ianto was staring at him in slack-jawed disbelief.

'What?'

'…You just…yelled…cussed out…and then hung up on the President of the United States of America?'

'So? He's really very annoying. I don't even _want_ to know what's shoved up his ass.'

'_Jack_!' Ianto squawked. 'You don't just…oh good grief. I give up. You can never be civilized.'

Jack looked mildly affronted. Ianto sighed, taking in the tense shoulders of his boss. 'Alright. You need a break. Get that last stack finished off, and I'll go make us some coffee.'

He slid down from his perch on the edge of Jack's desk, picking up a stack of paper to take to his own desk.

When Ianto returned with the coffee, Jack was still immersed in his paper work, a scowl on his face. Ianto set the tray down and carefully slid the paper away from Jack's megawatt glare. 'It won't burst into flames, no matter how hard you glare at it.'

Jack leant back in his chair, huffing.

'Coffee.' Ianto said firmly. 'You need it.'

Jack took the outstretched mug, a reluctant smile creeping across his face. 'I don't know what I'd do without you.'

'Die a horrible, lingering death buried in triplicate forms.' Ianto deadpanned. Jack snorted, taking a massive swig of his coffee. He bolted upright, swallowing quickly and fanning at his mouth. Ianto gave him a quizzical look.

'Hot.' explained Jack sheepishly, puffing his cheeks and blowing in an attempt to cool his burnt tongue. Ianto shook his head in fond exasperation, setting his own mug down. 'How many times do I have to tell you?'

Jack managed to look repentant, still fanning a hand at his mouth. Ianto eyed the now much smaller stack of forms on the desk. Knowing Jack, he would need some kind of incentive to do these now, rather than putting them off till tomorrow. Ianto had never met a bigger procrastinator.

He only just managed to keep his face straight, leaning in from his perch on the desk and sealing his mouth over Jack's, sliding one hand behind the older man's neck, and carding the other through his short, soft hair.

Jack's lips were hard against his for a second, surprised, but then the captain melted against him, a warm, solid pillar between Ianto's legs, strong hands coming up to rest on his hips. Ianto shifted his perch on the desk slightly, tilting his head and nipping at Jack's lower lip. Jack welcomed him into the warm, moist cavern of his mouth, and Ianto soothed the irritated skin, kissing Jack long and hard.

He felt Jack's hand drift lower and neatly evaded him, quickly ending the kiss.

Jack stared at him through lust-darkened eyes, his hair mussed and cheeks flushed. Ianto managed to keep the smug smile threatening to overtake his face under control, giving Jack a very innocent look.

'Didn't you know? Kisses are the best cure for burns.'

He nodded at the pile of paperwork. 'I'm heading home in an hour or so. If you have all that done, you might as well come back with me.'

'And if I don't?' Jack asked warily.

'Well, I guess you'll just have to stay here until you finish it.' Ianto replied, picking up the mugs and walking away quickly – but not quite quickly enough to miss Jack's muttered reply.

'_Bastard…'_

Ianto grinned.


	3. Tears

'Jack?'

Jack Harkness ducked his head, closing his eyes in disbelief as he leant against the wall, keeping his back to the young man who stood further up the abandoned corridor.

'How the hell did you manage to find me down here?' he croaked, trying to wipe the tears from his eyes.

Ianto's short laugh was slightly hysterical, slightly broken. 'I know everything, remember? Besides, I practically lived in the archives, back when…'

His voice trailed off, Ianto obviously kicking himself for even starting the sentence.

'I forgave you a long time ago, you know.' Jack rasped, staying huddled against the wall. He didn't want to turn and look at Ianto, afraid that the young man might reject him, or run in horror from the monster Jack had become.

'I know.'

Ianto's voice was so quiet Jack had to strain to hear him.

'I can't believe they're gone…' he whispered softly. Jack choked, curling up tightly as his legs gave way and he slid down the wall, rocking back and forth like a lost child. He heard hurried footsteps, and strong arms encircled him, gripping him with a kind of desperation, holding him steady as the tears coursed down his face.

'It's all my fault.' he cursed, over and over again. 'My fault. All my fault.'

'Jack, Jack, shhh. Don't do this to yourself. Shhh. It's not your fault. Not at all. _Jack_…'

'You should go.' Jack croaked. 'Get far away from here. You shouldn't be here. I won't retcon you, I promise. Just go. Live the life you should have.'

Arms tightened round him, pulling him back against a warm, strong chest, and Ianto breathed words into his ear.

'_There is nowhere else I would rather be. No matter how hard, how painful this life is, it's the life I've chosen. I made that choice a long time ago, and I can't go back on it now. Can't and won't. Because as painful as it is, I have seen the most incredible things. You opened my eyes, Jack Harkness, just like you did for Tosh, and Owen. You saved us, all of us. And I love you. So don't make me leave, don't try to make me run away – because there is no life I would rather live, than the one I have here with you.'_

Jack gasped as he sobbed, clinging to Ianto's shoulders. He could feel the young man's tears mingling with his own, as Ianto's lips pressed against his, breathing warmth and life into his numb, frozen body.

'Didn't you know?' Ianto whispered, gently kissing away the tears from his cheeks. 'Kisses are the best cure for tears.'

Jack tightened his hold on Ianto, a startled, broken laugh escaping him.


	4. Embarrassment

The day had started out so well.

He'd woken before his alarm clock, feeling unusually well-rested and content. Of course, that might have had something to do with the fact Jack had been too tired to get up to his usual tricks the night before. Ianto enjoyed the adventure that came from sharing a bed with Jack Harkness, but really. Even the polished, unruffled archivist-slash-tea boy has to sleep sometimes.

He'd made breakfast for both of them, coaxed Jack out of bed with gentle kisses and promises of fresh coffee and toast. Outside the sun had been shining bright, chasing away the clouds that hung over Cardiff for three-hundred-an-sixty-four days of the year. Birds were singing in the trees as they walked to the car, the whole scene ridiculously idyllic in the morning sunlight.

He probably should have realised then, Ianto mused darkly as he attempted to scrub sticky, violet sludge out of his hair. He worked for _Torchwood_, dammit. No day that started well was ever going to end well.

The door to the shower cubicle opened and Jack slipped inside, trying without much success to stifle a grin. Ianto scowled at him, wiping suds from his forehead as they trailed dangerously close to his eyes.

'Violet suits you.' Jack offered unhelpfully, reaching for the shampoo. He lathered it carefully into Ianto's hair, and left it to soak, picking up the soap and turning Ianto round with a gentle hand. The younger man leant against the wall with a sigh as Jack lathered up his hands and ran them over Ianto's tense shoulders, thumbs working artfully into the knot between his shoulder blades.

Yes, Ianto thought, almost falling asleep. He should have known that something terrible would definitely happen. Although in retrospect, the day had continued to be deceivingly beautiful for the longest time. The sun had shone, the rift had been peaceful, and everyone seemed to have taken the opportunity to get the work done that Ianto had been nagging them about for weeks. Even Jack had sat down to try and unearth his desk from beneath the Mt. Everest of paperwork which covered it. Ianto had offered to go find him a spade to help.

He had narrowly ducked the boot Jack had aimed at his head, escaping up to the tourist office and spending a pleasant hour ticking tasks off his list as he completed them. There was something wonderfully pleasing at seeing a long line of precise, neat little ticks mark his to-do list. He'd opened the tourist office for a couple of hours – it never hurt to cement their cover after all, and just recently there had been a complaint to the local paper about 'that bloody tourist office never being open – you'd think it was the entrance to a secret government base or something!'

He'd then spent a pleasant ten minutes chatting to a trio of young siblings – a boy in his early teens, scowling and trying to look grumpy at being landed with his siblings for the day, but not quite managing to hide his protectiveness, a polite, cheerful young girl who seemed well-practiced at dealing with her older brother, and a happily gurgling baby which she held perched on her hip, his chubby little fists waving in the air. Ianto had helped them find a leaflet of things happening in Cardiff that summer, pleasantly surprised at the friendliness of the young, pre-teen girl. He'd waved at them through the window as they left, feeling strangely touched.

Of course it wouldn't last.

The rift had picked the perfect moment to explode, just as Ianto had been about to take a walk across the plass to buy dinner. They had all piled into the SUV, following the co-ordinates to an old warehouse on the docks – fortunately abandoned – and had fanned out in standard procedure.

The alien had been humanoid, Ianto was fairly certain of that in the brief second he had seen it. Long braided hair had fanned around it in a riot of rainbow colours, shifting gently in what appeared to be a private electrical field. He probably would have been able to note more than that – it always made it easier when it came to writing up reports and filing them later if he'd got a good look at the alien – when the bloody thing had rushed him and pinned him against the wall.

Jack had shouted, lunging forward, gun raised, the rest of the team assuming similar poses, however the alien had drawn no weapon, nor done anything to harm Ianto. Instead it had…

…kissed him.

A frozen, shocked pause had followed, during which the alien let out a happy little sigh, taking a step back, and…exploded.

Ianto groaned silently, letting his head hang between his shoulders. Jack snickered softly, kissing the back of his neck. 'There. All clean – although it may take a while to get the violet tint out your hair.'

Ianto cracked open an eye.

'What _was_ that thing?'

Jack leant back under the spray, unashamed of his nakedness as he soaped his hair. 'A Trygon. They're an…interesting race. Kind of like a cross between a 1940's hippy, and a religious zealot. They spend all their lives in prayer and study, until they feel they are ready to join their god in the next world. Then they…well…'

'Throw themselves at unsuspecting strangers?' Ianto deadpanned.

Jack nodded, lips twitching. 'They believe that the perfect death comes from…well, from a kiss.'

Ianto groaned again, aloud this time, head hanging. Jack snorted, patting him on the shoulder.

'Look at it this way – it wouldn't have picked you if it hadn't thought you were cute.'

'Oh that's a great relief.' Ianto snapped, snatching his towel from the hook and snapping Jack with it. 'Gerrout!'

Jack fled, laughing, barricading himself in the next cubicle in order to dry and dress. Ianto scrubbed his hair dry and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt he kept in his locker for emergencies. His PDA jittered on the bench and he picked it up, frowning as a tiny video popped up.

The CCTV footage played in slow motion, replaying perfectly the Trygon's expression of bliss as it stepped back and exploded in slow motion, showering Ianto in electric violet gloop. It zoomed in on Ianto's stunned, goldfish expression, and froze the frame, a line of text appearing under his face.

'PWNED'.

'_OWEN!!!!_'


End file.
